Oh No She Didn't!

Oh, yes, she did.

Memorial Day weekend was fun--the fam took its customary trip to Gulf Shores, where a good time was had by all. Highlights included 2 bumper boat rides with my 2 year old nephew, sitting under a tent watching the dolphins, watching Finding Nemo about 6 times, pralines 'n cream yogurt, seafood gumbo, and Mom's famous taco salad.

I got back yesterday afternoon, only to find myself invited to a cookout at a friend's house that evening. I accepted the invitation, as did several others--including a newly-wed couple I had never met before (the husband was nice but nothing special, the wife was an extremely attractive, albeit redneck, blonde wearing a low-cut shirt).

There was some drinking going on---though I should tell my dear readers that I kept myself in check the entire evening---followed by several rounds of kareoke. I was in the middle of the second verse of "Friends in Low Places" when the drunk blonde wife plopped herself down in my lap. She was hanging all over me, which presented a hint of awkwardness between me and the husband (to say he was staring daggers at me would be an understatement). Later on, after she managed to get her pants wet by sitting on a rain-drenched deckchair, this woman kept inviting me to touch her ass--which I did not. She then proceeded to change her pants practically right in front of me (I, being the gentleman that I am, turned away from her as she was doing this). She even told me that I was "perfect" and that "we're soul-mates," and gave me 2 affectionate hugs and kisses before she left.

All in all, a pretty good night. I never fancied myself a homewrecker!